Who is the Proverbs 31 Woman? Not Me Yet!

Self-Portrait, 2012

Who is "The Proverbs 31 Woman"?

(Not Me Yet!)

Proverbs 31 came to mind as I woke this morning.  Not that I had studied it recently, though I certainly should.

Our family is about to go through a major transition.  After a decade of working from home, my husband is hoping to start (if all goes well with the final technicalities) a full-time paid job internship next week.  During all these years of flexible schedule, he's been so helpful with fixing stuff around the house, cooking, laundry, dishes, yard work, taking care of the cars, paperwork, home schooling, chauffeuring kids, and so much more.  And now I need to step back up to the plate and take over more of these duties.  At least I don't have a house full of babies and preschoolers as I did back when he was last working full-time-and-then-some when I was out-to-here pregnant with our 9th baby.

Knowles family, with the new generation

But we've still got 8 of our 10 kids at home, though some of them are capable young adults with jobs and college classes to keep them busy. There is always much for me to do and I wonder how I will do more.  I look around my bedroom.   On my desk: a budget, a revised schedule with scritch-scratch changes to accommodate Daddy being away, plans for my daughter's birthday party, a pile of papers to be sorted, pictures of my sweet little grandsons, my weekly vitamin organizer (freshly filled this morning), my mending pile, folded laundry waiting to be put away, a bin of pictures to be hung, and a bunch of books I plan to read soon (for planning home school co-op English classes, for reading to my children, for dealing with family health/home/organization issues, and for my own spiritual nourishment).  My inbox is full. And that's just in my bedroom. I still have to wake up several of the kids up to get started with the day.  

All of it a bit much, I'd say.  Time to cut the fluff and make every moment count.  My ADD brain is having a hard time wrapping itself around that reality.  At least I've already started back with scheduling my mornings to spend an hour doing schoolwork with each of the three kids who need help with their lessons.  (That was a great practical encouragement from my logistically-gifted husband.)

And then there is my open Bible, with these words beaming their timeless encouragement up at me...

¹⁰ A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
    and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still dark;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her servant girls.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
    and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
    her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
    but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Give her the reward she has earned,
    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

Ah yes, the legendary Proverbs 31 woman.

Who is she?

Who am I?  

I'm not her, yet, though I've been told that this is a panoramic view of many seasons of her life, not just a snapshot of a single moment in time.

But it is clear: she is not a pampered princess, not a wilting wallflower, not a dependent  doormat.  There is no frilly fragility or prissy passivity about her.  I think she would embrace the belief that men and women are completely equal in Christ, that women are not second class citizens, that our lives go far beyond exclusive-and-perpetual domesticity.  She would not be cowed into idolatrous pseudo-submission by an Alpha Male who uses power to control rather than to serve alongside. She worships God - not her husband, or children, or home.  (Those are the ones she loves and serves out of the overflow of her full heart.)

She is capable, strong, wise, creative, diligent, intelligent, generous, resourceful, enterprising, versatile, confident, cheerful, firm, faithful, noble.

She can hold her own.

And I only hope I can hold mine.  I have a whole lot of growing up to do!  :-)

How about you?

Virginia Knowles
www.ComeWearyMoms.blogspot.com

P.S. I wrote a related post that is more directly related to home schooling here -- and as a bonus, there are links to my free home school e-books!  Home School Day in the Life (2nd, 6th, 8th & 10th Grades)

You might also like to read these posts:

• Refresh and Renew: Quilt and Pansies 
• At Our Best Bravely (Encouragement for Tired Moms)
• Doing the Wash: Grandmother’s “Receet”
• Busy & Creative at Home (The Grasshoppers Have It Easy)
• Knowing That She Hath Wings
• "My Glorious Dishtowel" Redux and More 
• Tender Compassion for Mothers 
• A Mother’s Seeds
• The Thessalonians Prescription
• The 12 P's of Stress Busting for Moms
• Nurturing Naomi: How to Help Yourself or Someone Else Overcome Discouragement
• Quotes and Poems to Keep You Going
• Melancholy

Between the Burqa and the Bikini: A Call to Moderate Modesty

Between the Burqa and Bikini: A Call to Moderate Modesty

Burqas. Bikinis. I see them both in one sweeping glance at Sea World here in Orlando. What a juxtaposition! I should clarify and say that most of the “burqa” wearers (if that is even the correct term) were not completely covered. Instead of wearing the toe length flowing black robes and veils that showed only slivers of skin with a slit or a translucent panel for the eyes, most of them were wearing loose fitting, thigh length, long sleeve tunics over trousers, and white or colored head scarves. And the bikini wearers? A mix of “If you've got it flaunt it!” and “I've still got some sense of decency.”

I keep my eyes on the culture & theology debates on-line, and one that has come up repeatedly in the Christian (especially home school) crowd is the issue of modesty. You might think this would be pretty straightforward and everyone would agree. But what modesty is can by quite nuanced already, and when it is tied in with related opinions on myriad other topics (as it should, being that our lives are integrated rather than compartmentalized), then you get a whole mess load of controversy, some of it rather sharp.

Those on the conservative end of the spectrum believe that a Christian woman should always wear calf length (or longer) skirts, loose fitting shirts with at least elbow length sleeves, the more layers the better, with muted solid colors so as not to draw any attention to themselves, and extra points for home sewn. If they lean even more toward Mennonite-like standards, they will also wear some sort of head covering to show that they are properly submissive to their husbands.  

On the liberal end of the spectrum, pretty much anything goes. Like bikinis.

As a mother of seven daughters and three sons, most of whom are either teens or adults (two already married, one with two children), I have some opinions of my own. I tend to fall somewhere in the moderate zone, having loosened up quite a bit from 10 years ago when I pretty much only wore calf length dresses and the “home school mommy uniform” of denim jumpers.  Some of them looked pretty hideous, especially the ones I made.  Now I usually wear capris or loose walking shorts in warm weather, loose pants or blue jeans in the winter, and V-neck or scoop neck shirts. Maybe it's because I'm out of the perpetually pregnant stage, and despite my excess weight, I am getting more comfortable with the shape of my own body. Still, my swimsuit has a nearly knee length skirt, and I wear a black camisole under it to raise the neck-line. No bikinis for me. That's an act of mercy on my part, as much as it is an attempt at moderate modesty.  

Body shape aside, if I had to choose to wear either a bikini or a tunic and a veil, I know I'd go with the latter for modesty's sake, even if it seems a bit extreme for the American culture. But that would be my choice in a false dichotomy. In the real world, I don't have to wear either a burqa or a bikini, and I don't. While I am still pretty careful to be modest in what I wear, I am not hung up on picky rules or fears, nor do I strictly enforce particular standards on my daughters.

What bothers me is not how some conservative folks dress ultra modestly. I respect and admire that, if that is what is really in their hearts to do as an expression of who they are. The problem is when it becomes another self-righteous standard to check off on a list of “If You Want to Be Truly Godly” behaviors. Often, the women in these groups are exhorted to dress a certain way to conform to the expectations of others, and they in turn exercise the same kind of pressure on their own peers. It can become a form of strident one-upmanship and cliquishness. Worse, it can cause alienation and hostility toward (and from) non-compliant newcomers or teens who are learning to evaluate for themselves what they have always been taught. These kinds of rules love company, so it's not just the modesty. It's all the other baggage that can come with it, much of it based on fear: of messing up, causing others to stumble, or appearing to be worldly. Or it may be based on pride: of being the elite ones who get it right, being holier and homier than thou. Please don't hear me saying that all people who dress modestly are self-righteous or legalistic! That is far from the truth! It's just tragic when a church or Christian movement becomes centered more on the outward rules and less about worshiping Jesus with our hearts.

On the other hand, while I am not about to call a girl a whore if I see more cleavage than I personally think is appropriate, I think too many who identify themselves as Christ-followers throw off common decency in the way they dress. They might think: “If a guy has a problem with my body hanging out all over the place, that's his fault, not mine.” While we should live under liberty instead of law, we shouldn't trade in our liberty for licentiousness. I do not think a man should ever sexually harass a woman no matter what she is wearing, but let's get real. If you dress provocatively, you are advertising that you are cheap goods. It might be false advertising if you really aren't loose with sexual activity, but you are appearing that way. Like it or not, you shouldn't be surprised if men – even Christian ones - don't treat you with respect. 

I think modesty is mostly just learning what is appropriate for each situation and dressing accordingly. I could write a whole lot more, and I haven't said much about the closely related issue of femininity, but I've pretty much said my piece for now. Instead, I'd like to share several web links about the topic of modesty. Please note that these links are “all over the place” on what they endorse, and I do not agree with everything in them! I'm just trying to present a fair balance, starting with pro-more-modesty links. Also keep in mind that several of these links specifically address the issue of whether lust, sexual harrassment, or rape can be blamed on immodesty.

Pro-Modesty Blogs (Nice Ones!)

• Teaching Modesty to Our Daughters at Raising Homemakers -- This is a single post but you will find many more on this site.  They also have a weekly link up party and many of the linked posts are about modesty. I regularly link there.
  

• The Modest Mom blog by Caroline – she sponsors regular link-ups to other blog posts about modesty as well

Other Links

Modesty: A Heart Issue by Rachel Miller at the Aquila Report “To seek to adorn ourselves with a “gentle and quiet spirit” is something to aspire to for all of our lives. When we focus on developing an inner beauty that does not fade with time, we will find that our priorities and goals in life will change. Dressing “sexy” or “provocatively” to get attention will not hold the same allure. Our sons, too, will learn to value women not simply for their outward appearance, if we teach them look for the qualities that God finds precious.”

Mixed-Messages of Modesty by Rachel Ramer: “While immodest apparel focuses attention on women as sexual objects, obsessive teaching on dress codes creates the same focus. Preachers and other spiritual leaders reinforce the destructive message that women and girls are so distracting sexually that they must be covered up beyond cultural sensibilities.”

Modesty and Purity Standards: Screwing Up Men, Objectifying Women by Amy at Just A(my's) Blog

Excellent series on modesty by Becky at Created to Be His:

• Modesty Part 1: Godly Garments
• Modesty Part 2: The Survey
• Modesty Part 3: Straining Gnats, Swallowing Camels  As examples of how NOT to approach modesty, this particular post links to several pro-modesty posts that are much more strident in tone.
• Modesty Part 4: Of Prodigals and Pharisees
• Modesty Part 5: Kosmios
• Modesty Part 6: Blame it on Bathsheba?

Five Problems I Have with Slutwalk Marches by Mary Kassian – be sure to read the comments! Then read responses at the Emotional Abuse and Your Faith blog: Adventures in Missing The Point and Slutwalk Myths Encouraged By CBMW

My Prayer for Christian Fundamentalist Leaders by Wendy Horger Alsup at Practical Theology for Women

A Legalist Goes Shopping at Recovering Grace, a web site for those negatively affected by the teachings of Bill Gothard, ATI, and IBLP

Finally, a little poem/song I wrote many years ago.  You can see my comments about it here: A Woman of Beauty.

A Woman of Beauty
by Virginia Knowles

A beautiful woman is quiet in spirit 
Gentle in all that she does. 
Adorning the inward part
She trusts the Lord with all her heart. 
She is a woman of beauty! 
She is a woman of beauty! 

She does not need ornaments of fancy gold
And it's not in how she fixes her hair.
As long as she's clothed in strength and dignity,
It doesn't matter what else she wears.


A beautiful woman is quiet in spirit
Gentle in all that she does. 
Adorning the inward part
She trusts the Lord with all her heart. 
She is a woman of beauty! 
She is a woman of beauty! 

What do you think?  Leave a comment!  If you have strong feelings on this subject either way, please remember that I would like to keep this as a cordial dialogue!

Virginia Knowles
www.ComeWearyMoms.blogspot.com

P.S. Hello again! I just wrote a follow up article "My Thoughts on the Sexualization of the Church (And Other Problems)"  Please take a look and tell me what you think!

Curiosity Journal for June and July

Dear friends,


My cyber friend and fellow blogger, Ann Kroeker, writes a Curiosity Journal each Wednesday, chronicling her life in the categories of Reading, Learning, Playing, Reacting, Writing.  She has invited us to join her and link up, so here is mine, not just for this week but for the months of June and July:


Reading


I have been reading less books and more blogs lately.  I am, however, reading Grace-Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel again. (More on that in the Writing section.)  Other books too, but that is the one that comes immediately to mind since I was reading it today.


I am preparing to teach 5th-6th grade English in our home school co-op, moving down from the 7th-8th grade class.  To get ready for our literature studies, I am currently working through The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis, as well as fairy tales, medieval legends, and poems in The Book of Virtues edited by Dr. Bill Bennett. 

Most importantly, I'm trying to pick up the pace of my Bible reading with daily chapters from Psalms, Proverbs, 1 Chronicles and Acts.  I copy favorite verses in tiny handwriting in one of my journals.  See here: Gleaning Encouragement from Scriptures in Times of Disillusionment.

Learning

I'm learning that life is a swirl, many times not nearly as cheerful as the tie dye on my favorite t-shirt pictured here.  My little girl who is almost seven pulled it out of one of my dresser drawers an hour ago and wondered why I don't wear it very often.  It's because I have so many happy and bittersweet memories of this shirt but it's getting all worn out and I want to preserve it.  But I'm wearing it right now.  For old time's sake.  One of my not-so-fun times this month was an overnight trip to the hospital which you can read about here: Weekend Gratitude: A Healthy Heart.  So yes, I guess I'm learning about staying healthy, too.  And that spicy foods can give me heartburn that can make me think I'm having a heart attack.  Stress gives me chest pains, too, and raises my blood pressure. I need to avoid both.  The spicy foods are easier to forego than the stress since the latter is mixed in everywhere in life.  Fortunately, taking walks and enjoying nature help me keep the stress to a duller roar: Evening Nature Walk in the Neighborhood.

Linked on P52 photo project for Movie Party theme

Likewise, I've learned that sweet and sour go together, sometimes better than others.  My kids bought these candies for a movie night last week.  The Warheads are extremely sour on the outside -- you can't eat them without a serious pucker -- but they are a bit too sweet on the inside.  And they are definitely too strong for my heartburn problem. The sour strips, on the other hand, are lightly coated with a layer sugar on the outside with just the right amount of tart underneath.   And they are delightfully chewy.  And I can tie them in knots if I want to play.  Guess which ones I like better? I know there is some sort of life metaphor in this.


What do you think of this visual metaphor? Yup, that's a calculator.  Or it least it was before my little girl decided to explore its innards.  Yup, same little almost-seven-year-old girl.  Why yes, it was high time for her to go to bed.  I couldn't find the keyboard for our desktop computer earlier today.  Little Miss CEO-to-Be had borrowed it for her "desk."  At least she didn't disembowel it like the poor calculator.  It just doesn't compute.  Go figure.  With a paper and pencil.  Breathe, Mommy, breathe!


Playing


Oh, this one is easy.  


My big "play" for the month was flying up to Maryland with my 11 year old daughter to go to a family reunion in Pennsylvania.  Weekend Gratitude: Family Reunion in Pennsylvania.  Love love love seeing my family -- parents, sister, nieces, nephew, aunts, uncles, cousins of all permutations, and of course my 97 year old Grandma!  Yeah, my relatives are seriously awesome.  My second cousin Margaret took me on a short tour of her parents' beef-and-honey farm in Pennsylvania when I was there.  Double awesome.  Learning is playing to me.


A little closer to home?  For the first time ever, this has been a summer of theme parks for our family.  With a bunch of kids, we can't usually afford this, but one of my adult daughters is a Disney World photographer, so she's been using her free passes to take us into the parks a few at a time.  Then my mom helped us buy Sea World Fun Passes (for the price of a single day admission) so we can go until the end of the year.  I've already been twice this month, and some of the kids have been there three times already.  (See  

Weekend Images for some pictures like the jellyfish here.)  And since Sea World is on the way to the Magic Kingdom, big sister can drop off a few older kids on her way to work and save on gas and parking!  My nine year old son won two Lego Land tickets at school, so he and Daddy went a couple of weeks ago.  And my 11 year old daughter went to Six Flags in Maryland while visiting Grandma.  That was after Grandma took her and a cousin to San Francisco for several days.  Sweet.

On my iPod, I play Words with Friends with my brother, one of my cousins and several friends. Like my Dad, I also love Solitaire.  That's an understatement.  There is so much I can learn about problem solving strategies with this simple game, especially since I can hit the undo button to back up and try a different way -- or I can hit the replay button and start over with the same game.  And I confess that when I am really stressed, Solitaire is my go-to-escape.  I am, however, breaking myself of my TetrisFriends habit on my laptop.  I see falling bricks in my sleep and my arthritic right hand was getting sore.  I have pledged to my family that I won't play it again until Labor Day, and then only for a day or so when we take a break from home schooling.  :-)

Reacting

This one is easy, too, but not pleasant.  I've been following the flap about Doug Wilson's disturbing quote in Jared Wilson's (no relation) Gospel Coalition article about sexual deviancy and male dominance.  The post has since been removed with apologies from Jared, but Doug Wilson and his daughters are still playing hardball. (Yes, I do personally own several books by Doug and Nancy Wilson, and I am quite familiar with their writing.) The debate continues about complementarian vs. egalitarian marriage.  (My personal view is in the middle, so I guess I'm what a friend calls a "complegalitarian.") Want to read more about this controversy and related topics?  I put a bunch of links on Facebook.  I was quite touched on Sunday morning when my pastor greeted me with gratitude for posting them.  He and his wife reacted about the same to them as I did.  I'm glad he understands why this is a hot button for so many of us.  Here are some of the links:

• 50 Shades of Complementarians by Wendy Horger Alsup
• The Gospel Coalition endorses authority and submission in sex by Rachel Held Evans - I don't always agree with Ms. Evans, who is an evangelical feminist, but I think she got this one right, and I appreciate her perspective
• Some Reflections, Just One Explanation, and Apologies by Jared Wilson

• When virile goes viral: more muddled complementarianism by Karen Campbell
• The Politics of Outrage - a response by Doug Wilson
• Them's Fightin' Words by Doug Wilson's daughter Rebekah
• Emotional Abuse and Your Faith: Shock Jock Doug Wilson Penetrates Gospel Coalition
• The Real Doug Wilson Encouraged & Presided Over the Marriage of Serial Pedophile at The Wartburg Watch

Adding in a side note: In her post, Ann Kroeker mentions reading a book called The Glass Castle, a tale of abuse and sexuality that horrified her.  She said she doesn't necessarily recommend reading it because it is so difficult emotionally.  That reminded me of a book I read which is, in its own way, related to the Doug Wilson debacle, and that is Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi.  It's been several years since I read it, and I would certainly hesitate to recommend it to most people, but the writing was stunning even if the content was at times shocking.  What would it be like to live in a culture that has completely repressed women?  If you want to read more on this topic and what you can do, I would highly recommend Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide by journalists Sheryl WuDunn and her husband Nicholas D. Kristof.

Writing


Wow!  I guess I'm already covering a lot of bases in this Curiosity Journal.  So I guess that's part of my writing.


This is actually my third post for the evening, and I haven't blogged in over a week, so I guess I'm on a roll.  The first one is my reflections on  "The Freedom to Be Candid" from Grace-Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel.  The second one is Web Sites for Free High School and College Level On-Line Learning.  To be honest, I didn't write that one.  It's a list of sites sent to me by my aforementioned second cousin Margaret.  



Yesterday I had the delightful surprise of a message from the managing editor of a major Christian home schooling magazine asking if I would join their team of writers. Why yes, I am interested!  I did explain to her that I am probably different from most of their writers in that I also have children in public school and I am somewhat of an outspoken cynic about a lot of legalism swirling around in the conservative home schooling movement.  That didn't faze her at all.  Yes!  More details to follow as I get more information.


On a smaller scale, one of the writing assignments I am planning for my English students next month is about houses.  In the first chapter of The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe, the four Pevensie children are exploring the Professor's mansion. I am asking my students to imagine their dream house, as large and fancy as they want it, with whatever they want in the rooms, according to their interests and style.  I think they will have fun with this, especially since most of my students are girls.  My sister and I used to do this when we were little, drawing floor plans and decorating from the Sear's catalog.  We also used to write imaginative stories alongside each other.   (I still occasionally have dreams at night where I am living in a house I have never seen before and I'm exploring all of the secret rooms.) Then in the next chapter of the book, we meet Tumnus the Faun, who lives in a small but nicely appointed cave, so I am asking the students to imagine living in a tiny home.  What would they absolutely need that could fit there?  What few "extras" would they want?  I am trying to help them think about wants and needs and finding the balance between, which also leads into Edmund craving Turkish Delight in a subsequent chapter.


Well, that's that.  What are you Reading, Learning, Playing, Reacting, and Writing?  Do tell!  Then link it here: http://annkroeker.com/2012/07/25/curiosity-journal-july-25-2012/


Virginia Knowles
www.ComeWearyMoms.blogspot.com

My History in the Conservative Quiverfull Home Schooling Movement: An Introduction to the Gender and Authority Series

Dear friends,


I've been posting articles and web links for my series on Gender & Authority this past week, and just compiled them all into the July edition of my Hope Chest e-magazine which is sent to about 950 families around the world.  This is the introduction I gave to those who don't know me, and I thought it would serve well as an introduction to the blog series, too...

As most of you know, I am a home schooling mom of 10 children, ages (almost) 6 to 24.  My oldest daughter is married with a one year old son and expecting her second baby in February. She works part-time as a writer, splitting shifts with her husband.  My second daughter works full time in an office and is engaged to be married in October; she and her fiance have both been active in mission trips to Bolivia.  My third daughter starts nursing school at UCF next month.  My fourth daughter is a Disney World photographer and a student at Valencia Community College.  Both my third and fourth daughters spent three months in Italy earlier this year helping missionaries with outreach through teaching English in the community.  They are now living at home again while they are in college.  My fifth daughter returns to public high school for her junior year this fall; she had a very successful and happy year there. The younger five children, in first through ninth grades, will continue in our home school; this year we are rejoining the Providence co-op after a year off and I will be teaching 7th-8th grade English (with an strong emphasis on Bible and missions) as I have in the past.  I have been home schooling my children for about 20 years, and learning about it for 25.   

That's because shortly after Thad and I married in the mid 1980’s, we moved to Maryland, where we joined a conservative yet contemporary church that was filled with large home schooling families.  One of my earliest mentors in marriage and motherhood was a sweet lady named Vickie Botkin, whose husband was our home group leader.   Vickie taught me how to make log cabin quilts in her sewing room.  She continually modeled a heart of simplicity and contentment to me.   She is a lot more well known now than then. Victoria (as she is now called) is the wife of Geoff Botkin, and mother of seven young adult children.  The books, audios and DVDs that the Botkin family produces are published by Vision Forum.  Probably the best known of these are the Elizabeth and Anna Sophia Botkin’s book So Much More and their DVD Return of the Daughters. (I own both, read & reviewed the book years ago, and watched the DVD.  I may eventually write more about them, but no promises.)  Back then, one of the books that either Vickie or of our friends introduced me to was The Way Home by Mary Pride.  Then I read the sequel All the Way Home when it came out in 1989.   For about a decade, I subscribed to and wrote articles for Pride’s magazines HELP, Big Happy Family, and Practical Home Schooling.  (For a 2009 update from Mary Pride, please read her article Patriarchy, Meet Matriarchy.) About 20 years ago, I also started subscribing to Above Rubies Magazine by Nancy Campbell.  I have attended several three or four of her retreats (and helped organize one of them), written many articles for her magazine, and have had many personal conversations with her either while driving her to the airport or when she would call me on the phone with her delightful New Zealand accent.  I also read and posted on Teri Maxwell's very conservative Titus 2 Mom's web board for quite some time.


All this to say, I was quickly and deeply drawn into the “full quiver” (large family) and home schooling lifestyle that my new friends and Mary Pride’s and Nancy Campbell’s books and magazines espoused. I don’t regret that at all.  I wouldn’t trade any one of my 10 kids for anything!  And I love home schooling them!  I was still in my twenties when my oldest officially started kindergarten and I’ll be nearly 60 when my youngest graduates from high school.  That’s quite an investment in my own family, but I have also written home schooling books and published an e-magazine for the past 13 years.  I’m in deep and I’m in for the long haul.  


My husband Thad is also very involved in our children's educations through working with me on curriculum planning and record keeping, tutoring them, taking them on field trips, chauffeuring them to classes, working out dual enrollment in college, encouraging me to keep going strong, and of course, paying $$$ for everything!  With the older ones who are beyond home schooling, he helps coordinate college and scholarship applications,  overseas travel arrangements, car purchase and maintenance, wedding plans, financial planning and other adult life skills.  :-)  Kudos, Thad!  You are quite the veteran dad!

But back to the theme of this month's e-magazine... As the years have rolled by and I have closely observed the full quiver / home schooling movement and where it’s gone, I’ve seen some disturbing out workings in certain segments of it, especially relating to gender and authority.  Anything good can be distorted, sometimes very badly.  The ones who seem to suffer most are the moms and the daughters.  I’m certainly not the only one who has taken notice, hence the Manifesto and three book reviews I will share in this issue.   A little later, in the second review, I will share more on why I wrote this blog series. 

The other recent posts in this series, which I included in the e-magazine, are:

• Web Links about Parenting with Grace Instead of Authoritarian Legalism
• Manifesto of Liberty and Responsibility in Christian Families
• Submission Is Not Silence by Elisabeth Julin (A Review)
• When Sparrows Fall by Meg Moseley (A Review)
• Quivering Daughters by Hilary McFarland (A Review)

I would love to hear your thoughts.  Leave me a comment on this blog post or any of the others, or feel free to send me an e-mail!  Please note that I do not have the time or inclination for extended debates.  :-)

Blessings,

Virginia Knowles

www.ComeWearyMoms.blogspot.com